Earthling! Fight the Geppo!

Earthling! YOU ARE NEEDED!

By the giant fist of Mumm-Ra, there is Evil afoot in the galaxy! Word has spread to the outlying quadrants that the nefarious Mr. Geppo is gathering resources for a persuit no less grand than utter World Domination! EARTHLING! Listen to me! We cannot let him succeed!

Yes, it is quite true. Sixteen Centons ago, spies in the Geppoian Guard on Klaxton IV gathered information detailing the coming invasion of your homeworld, "EARTH" (ie: Aloot-Prexnu-7488A III), by the dimension-hopping madman Mr. Geppo! Your performance in the Geppo Attacks! video game, secretly a simulation of our advanced WaveMotion24 supreme tactical fighters has guaranteed you a place in the Army of Light which will fend of the Geppo darkness, no matter the cost!

You must accept this position, Earthling! All hope resides in you, small one, you who have shown the most talent piloting the WaveMotion24 we have seen in the past seven generations! Clearly you must accept and save your world from Eternal Darkness! They are mad men, you see, and they will destroy it ALL!

What Evil does Geppo have at his disposal? None less than Monsters of the Id, I tell you! And Flesh Creatures! Blood Monsters! Horror Creatures! Vampire Men! ROBOT MONSTERS! Wipe that stupid look off your face, soldier-to-be! Stay on target! I'm talking about an apocalypse, a nuclear winter, a red dawn from which your planet will suffer a thousand years of darkness! I am RO-MAN and over parsecs of the empty void, I tell you the truth, HU-MAN! On June 14th, anyone not wearing 2 million sunblock is going to have a REALLY BAD DAY!

Quickly, follow me to the monitor! Watch as our forces are decimated by Geppo's World-Eating Motherships! Cringe as our crack pilots are captured and drawn away to his sub-terranian ice chambers, awaiting torture or worse -- banishment to the prison planet of Arrakis, from which no one has ever escaped! HUMAN! Your kind is the thirteenth tribe of Kobol, lost millenia ago! ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE GEPPO!

You must come! We're on an express elevator to Hell! GOING DOWN! You must join us and eliminate the Geppo-ian threat! NOW!!!!