Sources high in the MIT administration are refusing to comment on the growing rumor that, despite the repeated denials of the past semester, MIT is in fact planning to require all incoming freshmen to be housed on campus beginning next fall.
"Our view is that this is simply none of students’ business," said Kip Hopeless, MIT Dean of the Undergraduate Curriculum. "We didn’t need uninformed student views in planning R/O week, and we don’t need them now."
Rumors started flying when Louis Reasoner ’01, approached the Tech with information about a secret administration plan that he learned of while doing a 6.001 problem set. The plan was described in an encrypted message that Mr. Reasoner succeeded in decrypting.
Further investigation by the Tech has unearthed plans of mysterious renovations to Random Hall, somehow involving large deliveries of methane.
Last night, MIT President Charles Vest and Dean of Undergraduate Education Rozz Williams were seen leaving Metropolitan Storage Warehouse carrying what appeared to be blueprints and plans. Neither Vest’s office nor Williams’s office has returned calls from the Tech.